Hidden Agenda Dog

My family has a dog back home named Bandit.

I only like him late at night... when he is sleeping.

Sometimes I even let him crash at the foot of my bed,

but only if he doesn't make smacking noises, and I'm feeling extra compassionate.

He fits the dog version of the nice, but slightly strange and suspicious person

that no one suspects to be guilty except that one person no one listens to.

Then the person lashes out and the person who claimed it would happen all along is standing there, not surprised in the least bit, saying... I told you so.

Well he is that dog and I am that one person.

During the day he barks and growls at nothing.

and I mean nothing, just to make people mad I'm sure.

He also goes to corners, props himself up on his back legs, and sniffs his paws.

Which is really, really weird.

And he licks everything in site

carpet, chair legs, couch, me, everyone.

And he doesn't play with his toys like a normal dog

He goes to another corner, bites them really hard, then just lays there without moving a muscle, staring at the wall, with his teeth gritted around the toy... for at least fifteen minutes straight.

He also doesn't ever listen.

When you tell him no, he looks at you for two seconds

then goes back to what he is doing while still staring at you.

He knows he is bad, and he tries to play the cute card

with his puppy eyes and little ears.

And when he gets caught, he decides to shake like a chihuahua,

which for some reason makes everyone feel sorry for him.

He is cute, I will give him that, but this dog has a hidden agenda!

He is tricking everyone but me! I know what this dog is really up to!

I shall prove it to you now.

This is how my family sees the dog.

This is how I see the dog.

Lucky for me, I got a photo in just the right moment.

Do not be fooled my friends.

Hidden agenda puppy is going to strike soon.

I'm just sure of it.