temporary insomnia

It is an untimely hour for me to be awake.

I've become less of a night owl over the past few months.

I've tried to pretend like I still am a few times and I always pay for it later.

but here I am, at 2:32am, wide awake.

I tried sleeping, but I couldn't get comfortable.

I turned in to at least twenty different positions

before giving into one that still didn't feel right.

then I started thinking too much.

the words, thoughts, and pictures of my mind started to press in on my eyelids.

everything felt way too close, I stiffened and felt as though I needed breathing room.

is it possible for your brain to become claustrophobic?

I thought I was going to be crushed by own consciousness, so I quickly opened my eyes.

I could breathe easy again

my medium sized room felt like a huge open field

dark with the moon coming in through the blinds.

I didn't want to shut my eyes again.

So, here I am, at 2:41, wide awake.

I guess this is what I get for reading fiction before bed.

Oh, its July.

If it were not for the fourth, I wouldn't have realized another month has passed.

I live in overnight bags and fall asleep reading books

I'm attached to my backpack, and almost always 5 minutes late for countless coffee dates.

I get up early for staff meetings, and stay up late planning for bible studies

I eat cereal out of mugs on the drive to work, and then sometimes cereal again for a late dinner.

I spend just about all my time with high school students, or married people with toddlers.

I honestly enjoy every minute of it. It gets hectic, and sometimes I feel like I run around kind of mindlessly, but I love where I am at. I am learning more than I have time to realize. I assume that most of it will click sometime in October.

The best way I can describe it is like driving.

Taking mindless right turns on some form of auto-pilot

I find myself halfway down the highway and I don't even remember going up the on-ramp.

In the same way, I am finally letting the Lord take me where I am going

My focus has shifted from tracking mileage to appreciating the landscape

Focusing on Christ rather than worrying about the details of the journey.

I am enjoying July.

Flashback

This morning I listened to Brooke Fraser. I wore out her album last year. I practically had it on repeat all last summer. It always reminds me of my trip to Africa. I am really missing those kids today. Sweet Matthew was always singing, so I made him sing on camera for me.