the weekend of many ages

Thursday night I drove to my parent’s house
and it was the first time I ever referenced it as my parent’s house, not mine
Maybe its because I didn’t live in that house long anyways
or that I’ve been in Nac longer than I stayed there
either way It was strange for those words to come out of my mouth.
I felt about 22

Then I woke up and drove to Lake Charles for a SAGE conference
I woke up early and drove responsibly
all I used to get there was a map of Texas and my new found sense of direction
I even got a phone call from work and had to tell them I wasn’t on call that weekend
I felt independent
I felt about 25

I parked my car at the church
stretched for a second and yawned
smiled as I saw the note from my dad in the passenger seat
I got out of the car and hopped to the ground
a raisin and a peanut fell out of my shirt
I felt about 7

Later on I was riding in the back seat of a car
two women were having conversation in the front seat
I stared at my shoes and out at the moon
forgetting that they were talking to me too
forgetting that I was now old enough to participate in the conversation
I felt about 13

I got to the hotel room late
everyone else was asleep
I needed to shower
I put one foot in and fell down
I got back up slowly and my knees popped and cracked
I felt about 70

Most of the weekend though,
I sat around godly women
in the midst of good conversation
sometimes contributing
sometimes soaking it up
appreciating the wisdom in front of me
applying it to my life
growing into who I am
learning
I felt my age

journals

The thing about new journals

is that they have to earn your trust.

The old ones gained it long ago

after months of awkward sentences,

and maybe some tears as well.

Over the years, the pages became familiar,

off-white, ink smeared memories.

But this new one still seems questionable.

It might lose your words.

You can’t quite rely on these pages.

If you happen to write too close to the edges,

the words may fall off the paper

and into the cracks of couches and pews

eventually found by a stranger

who won’t appreciate or understand them.

And it may not take you seriously either.

What if it laughs at you?

Doubling-over, flipping open, and sending words flying

in all different directions,

landing on people and in places,

making you embarrassed.

Maybe, though,

we should give it the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe it will be faithful,

and sit quietly on desks and passenger seats

next to full coffee cups,

waiting for your honesty, patiently

like a good journal would.

Appreciating your heart in word form

holding it captive,

keeping it safe,

and reflecting it back to you.

poem by me

idea from teysha

how inclement weather bonds us all

Today, as I walked outside into the the 25 degree morning I was immediately struck by a biting wind from the right of me that seemed to scream “YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN YOUR WARM BED!” And although I did like the idea of being in my warm bed, I thought that would have been a waste of the day. So I drew my arms in, stuck my hands into my scarf, and walked with purpose, thinking only of the heated Mckibben building ahead.

As I went on throughout my day I began to notice something strange.
People always talk and interact when its miserable outside!

It’s a conversation starter. I can’t tell you how many times I made conversation with the phrase “its cold!” or “you can’t feel the tips of your ears either?!”
Such obvious statements. We honestly sort of sound like idiots, but since its something everyone is experiencing at the same time it feels ok to say out loud.
It gives us a common ground.

I even gave and got more smiles from strangers today. They were like brief unspoken motivational interactions. Behind our watering eyes and runny noses, that small smile meant “I don’t know you, BUT we can DO THIS, we will not freeze, we WILL make it to class.”

These interactions just don’t happen much on regular days.
No one walks around making conversation in 73 degree weather by saying
“its quite mediocre outside!” That’s just awkward.

So even though I forgot my gloves, the wind felt like needles, and it didn’t even snow to make the cold worth it, I liked today; I liked the atmosphere (pun).