Plans Over Breakfast

I find myself getting a little too vague in these blog posts. I enjoy being metaphoric, but I also want you to know I’m (fairly)normal. My everyday isn’t filled with deep thought. In fact, its mostly filled with self-created busyness. Like today, I regret to inform you that I’ve mostly just yelled/pleaded with my dog to stop barking at the wind. But this morning was enjoyable. I got the opportunity to have a last-minute planned breakfast with my sweet friend Breanne, whom I have not spent quality time with since our senior year in high school. We follow each other’s blog, which is practically the same as having an occasional phone call, so there weren’t too many major things to catch up on, it was just nice to talk about what the Lord is doing in each of us. We ate fruit and cinnamon rolls and talked about everything… dogs, cars, school, blogging, Jesus, the nations. The crazy part was realizing how old we are. Now, before the ‘over 30’ crowd reads that last sentence and rolls their eyes, we know we are young, but sitting across the table from my newly married friend, in her cute little house, with her big ole puppy, talking about projected college graduation dates, her telling me of grad school plans, and me telling her of my finally tangible plans to hopefully teach overseas or something was such a crazy thing compared to talking about soccer games, project graduation, and college choices in senior economics class four years ago.

The college graduation date that I never thought would come is just a few more semesters away. It’s a lot of time left, but it will fly like I won’t believe. And I know it.
Now if only I had some plans etched in stone. Which, I know is an impossible thing to ask for, and honestly not something I truly want, but sounds so good. I want to live a life worthy of the gospel wherever I am, but I’m finding myself way too wrapped up in the “wherever I am” part. I’m always waiting for the next step for life to really start. I get over that obstacle, work through the trial, jump into something new, get to the next place, expecting things to make sense… but then I realize I’m trying to make a home out of a journey. Like trying to trick myself into believing my car would make a comfortable living space. My entire life will be full of growing, changing, learning, and moving until I die, or Jesus comes back.

God isn’t one for comfortable and stationary. By stationary I mean motionless. The Lord doesn’t want me (or you) sitting in our faith. That doesn’t mean getting rid of your couch and moving to an African village, but it does mean allowing him to take your planner, to-do list, list of life goals, etc. and let Him cross-out a few things and write in some of His own. God also isn’t one for “jumping the gun” either. Yesterday alone, I talked to three different people with three different opportunities where I could ‘go and do’. Sometimes, (especially because I am 20, with no attachments, and the world in front of me) the word wait is one that I find especially hard to swallow.

Whichever problem you (or I) encounter, difficulty to stay or difficulty to go, obedience is required. There is a new Shane & Shane song that says it best. “If your presence goes I don’t want to stay, and if your presence stays I don’t want to go.”

Oh please, Oh please, let that always be my heart’s prayer.